"I do not kow why there is this difference, but I am sure that God keeps no one waiting unless He sees that it is good for him to wait."
C.S. Lewis
I left off with our mission team leaving for the Dominican Republic during the wee hours of January 13, taking a piece of my heart with them. How I longed to be on that bus! If you read my last blog, you will know why I was 100% sure that I was not to go. I had faith that God had a reason for my staying, yet I was still grieving the experience I have in the DR. I think that's ok- just because we are obedient, we still have emotions. Boy, did I have emotions that week.
I spent most of Sunday crying, and when I got to work on Monday, I did the same. My sweet assistant Charlotte was so comforting, but no one could really understand. No one except my dear friend and colleague Dr. Molly Wright. She is a woman of great faith with a servant's heart. She leads our anesthesia students on the same trip in January and loves it like I do. I went to her office and she graciously allowed me to vent and cry, saying that she could not imagine not going. Waiting can be painful, even though we know that what is coming is more than we could ask or imagine.
The students and facutly were so wonderful, texting me pictures and videos. Our missionary friends did the same! I was being prayed for by so many, and to know that I was being prayed for in the DR was so refreshing! I felt the power of prayer!
This is a baby wrapped in one of the loveys made from Amanda England's scrubs by Jaqueline Smith. ( Amanda was a graduate who passed away after a valiant battle with a brain tumor.) What a wonderful way to honor her. She would have loved this.
One of my favorite pictures!
The students sent this video of my favorite song to sing during praise and worship time "Yes Lord!"
There is actually a video with them dancing to this but I could not get it to upload. It is on Facebook.
We tried to Face time the evening devotionals, but it did not work well. I am so grateful that they tried! The students and faculty made me feel like I was a part of the trip, and I am overwhelmed that they would take the time to do that.
Thursday was tshirt day, so here I am in mine!
We always have a pizza party on Friday night, and invite our friends from SCORE. It is a wonderful time of celebration. Here is my pitiful attempt to recreate the menu. Let me say now that Little Debbie cakes do not hold a candle to Jumbo cake!
During the week of the trip, I began to think more about transplant. What are my expectations? What do I want from it?
I do not plan to climb Mount Kilmananjaro. Maybe a 5K (as long as it goes past a cupcake store).
I am not a fan of housework, but I would like to be able to do laundry without becoming so short of breath I have to stop and take a break.
One of the most difficult things for people with end stage lung disease to do is push a vaccum cleaner. I have not vacuumed in years. I would like to be able to spot vacuum and not have to ask someone else to do it.
Changing sheets is nearly impossible for me.
I would love to never park in this spot ever again. It took me a long time to give up my pride and use this spot, but I hate doing so.
There are many mundane things I will enjoy doing with new lungs. Don't get me wrong- I will be glad to have someone else clean the house. It's just that I want to be able to do it if I choose. I want to be a fun Nana to my grandchildren, instead of being sick all the time.
I want to sing. I miss it so very much.
I want to travel. I want to do more missions work.
I want to do whatever it is God has planned for me. I cannot imagine what that might be at this point.
A week later, Michael and I met the bus in the wee hours of the morning of January 20, as the group returned. Headlights instead of taillights- what a great sight! As this group was leaving the DR, our second team was arriving.
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