A day without Vanderbilt!

Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

Ephesians 3:20

What a week.  I must apologize to all of you who have been through this.  I knew it would be tough, but I had no idea!  People tell me I am a strong person, but this experience made me doubt that.  I do not know how people without a strong support system make it through the 5^thday.

Speaking of support systems, I have to thank my husband, who put up with my irritability and anxiety all week, and my daughters, who drove in bad weather to attend required visits.  I could not have done this without the support and prayers of my family, friends, colleagues, and people I don’t even personally know.  My current students and former students have been so inspiring.  As a matter of fact, a previous student reminded me of the scripture above- I shared it with the mission team before we left in 2015.

Michael and I in Barcelona.

One of many pictures of Michael with gelato.

Our girls, Chelsea on the left and Christy on the right.

My mom with our grand daughters, Maggie and Anna Kate.

 Our grand dog, Willie B.

I want to especially thank my dear friend Ashleigh- Anne Hughes (AA). She received the gift a life in the form of a liver transplant.  This happened at Vanderbilt 4 years ago.  AA has been sharing her experiences with me for quite a while now, and was available to respond to my many, many texts from this week.  

This is a picture of AA and me from last summer.  We share a love for gummy bears and all things sweet.

It was AA who suggested the blog. She writes a blog and I really enjoy following her, but I am a very private person and did not want to share all of that.  As I was waiting for the evaluation week, I lurked on support websites and Facebook sites for people who are waiting for a lung transplant, and those who have received one.  The experiences of others helped me so much.  God was telling me to give back, so the day before the evaluation I began writing the blog, with AA’s help.  She urged me to not “sugar coat” anything.  

I have been shocked at how many people are reading the blog.  I have received so much encouragement! I have connected with friends and acquaintances from years ago.  I have received uplifting words from people I do not know- some from foreign countries. The blog is a powerful thing- for me, and for others. 

There was a bright spot at the end of the week.  Yesterday we adopted a rescue dog.  He was in a foster home, and that family kept him until we finished the evaluation week.  We committed to taking him in October, but did not want to leave him for a week so soon after bringing him home.  He is a Cocker Spaniel, like our beloved grand dog Willie (also a rescue).  He has a sweet disposition and loves people. Henry has been great therapy for me today.

Henry loves to ride in the truck.

Anna Kate with Henry.  He likes to hold his blue Kong ball in his mouth.

He is a good therapy dog!

As I wait for the phone call from the transplant committee, my mind is spinning. One of the easiest things to think about is the chance that I will not be a candidate for a transplant.  I am not afraid to die.  This world is not my home.  

The next the next thing I might hear is that I am a candidate for transplant, but they want more tests, or to re-evaluate me in a few months. This is what I think I will hear. My lungs are not working well, but I am not on oxygen at rest.  The possibility of needing more tests right now is unthinkable.  Pushing back a transplant for months (or more!) would make me happy.

The last possibility, that I might be listed now, is the hardest to think about.  First of all, I feel like there are others who are much “sicker” than me, and lungs are scarce.  Eight out of 10 donor lungs are unsuitable for transplant. My friend Karen Mitchell was on a heart lung machine when she was transplanted over a year ago.  She has two young girls who need their mom. In my mind, others need lungs more than I do.  Of course there is also the inevitable guilt that a family would be experiencing unimaginable grief in order for the transplant to happen.  If listed, I can only be four hours from Vanderbilt the entire time, which could very well be a year or more due to the antibodies and my stature.  

No mission trip.  

No family beach trip. We have been planning a beach trip in March- my sister’s family, my mom, and us.  I have not seen my nieces or my brother in law since my father’s funeral last year.  We are not really “beach people,” but have a beautiful house in Grayton Beach rented, and plans for a week of Skip-Bo, Five Second Rule, and all kinds of fun.  I don’t want to miss that time with family. 

(My nieces, from bottom to top- Cameron, Mackenzie, my daughter Chelsea, neice Amanda, and my daugher Christy.  My niece Laurel was not able to be here.) 

No attending my niece’s wedding. My sister, her mother, passed away a little over a year ago, and it is so important to me to be there.

I could be on this leash of for years.  I am not sure I want to do that.  

A transplant impacts many people, not just the one who has the transplant.  If listed, I would have to call the transplant center every Thursday with an update, and any time I got sick. There would be monthly visits for pulmonary function tests, 6-minute walks, blood work, and the dreaded arterial blood gases. 

After surgery, I would be required to live no more than 10 minutes away from Vanderbilt for THREE months!  Someone would have to be with me the entire time.  I would rather do just about anything to avoid imposing on people, so this puts a strain on my husband and daughters.  I would take at least 45 pills a day, plus insulin injections for a while.  There would be daily visits to pulmonary rehab, weekly lab work, and frequent bronchoscopies to check for rejection. 

So, I am supposed to “take it easy” this week, but I rode with my family to Martin to try the food at The Grind restaurant.  The doctors told me not to lose weight, so I ordered five courses.

 Courese #1: Mint chocolate chip

Course # 2- Smores!

Course # 3:  Cookies and Cream

Course # 4:  Banana pudding

Course # 5:  Peanut Butter and Chocolate 

Just following doctor's orders, ya'll

Matthew West's song "Strong Enough" fits Ephesians 3:20 pretty well.